I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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