You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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