M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize