Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Green mimosas i think yes
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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