Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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