Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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