What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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