He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize