Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize