yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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