You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Someone shit on the floor
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize