turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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