3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
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I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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