Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
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Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
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I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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