whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize