so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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