what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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