So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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