what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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