I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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