just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
BRING THE BAGELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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