all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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