My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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