Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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