I accidentally burped into my bong.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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