my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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