I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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