i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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