The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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