it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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