Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize