pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
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Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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