She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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