I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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