Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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