I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize