The beer is more important than you right now.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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