Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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