38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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