her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
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I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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