fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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