I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i need an iv and a liver transplant
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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