i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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