I swear god or herbie drove my car home
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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