Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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