Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize