We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
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I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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