If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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