is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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