I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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